Starting school was a bit strange for me, I wasn’t sure who I could trust and my mom seemed to be in a different place mentally than I remembered before.  Being only five I was never really able to place my finger on it at the time.  Later I came to realize that my mother suffered from schizophrenia.   Sometimes these bouts of non presentments were very frightening for me as a child.   She would cry out all sorts of strange remarks talking about hallucinations and nightmares and such.  Sometimes I think I blocked a lot of the details out due to my unwillingness to accept my mother’s plight.

Then there was the way my father used to talk to her.  He used to get angry with her and tell her to snap out of it.  His angry words just made me sad.  I could not understand why he was mad at momma for talking about something that was scary to her.  Many years  later I found out that my dad blamed her for letting a demon into her body.  Something I also found out was that at this point in history (1965), anyone who was subject to hallucinations was considered to be possessed of the devil.  Of coarse all I wanted for my momma was for the bad stuff to go away.  I wanted to share happy thoughts not this.

Momma was hospitalized several times during the coarse of my childhood, but not before subjecting everyone in the household to her scary fits of rage brought on by paranoia and manic depressive mood shifts.

More on this later.

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